Skip to main content

Ephesians 5:33: Love and Respect

Ephesians 5:33
[33] However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (ESV)

Paul brings this section to a close with this a final admonition to the husband and the wife.  Husbands are commanded to love their wives, and wives are commanded to respect their husbands.  You may ask yourself, why does each one get a different command?  So many people today think that there is no distinction between husband and wife.  They are inter-changeable.  In fact, substitute genders and it does not matter.  God has different thoughts on the people whom he has made.  We are not the same.

Not only are males and females different in their genitalia, but they are very different in how they are created emotionally.  Emerson Eggerichs is a marriage counselor who pastored for 25 years before starting his ministry to husbands and wives.  It was this verse that really got his attention.  He realized that men have a desperate need to be respected.  Conversely, women have a desperate need to be loved. Now, it isn't that each one doesn't need both of those things, but we need them in different proportion. Also, while women tend to love naturally, they need a little encouragement to show respect.  Similarly, while men are prone to show respect, they need to be reminded to love.

I would highly recommend Eggerichs' book, Love and Respect, in which he develops this wonderful teaching on marriage.  To sum it up, he is convinced that if you have a wife who is battling you and you feel defeated in your marriage, begin to shower her with love, even if you feel she does not deserve it.  In the same way, the wife is instructed to take initiative and show respect to her undeserving husband.  It will open up the love gates.  Here is a quote from his book:

“Few seem to have considered 1 Peter 3:1–2. The apostle Peter reveals that husbands who “are disobedient to the word” (meaning they are undeserving of respect) “may be won . . . by . . . respectful behavior.” A simple application is that a wife is to display a respectful facial expression and tone when he fails to be the man she wants. She can give her husband unconditional respect in tone and expression while confronting his unloving behavior and without endorsing his unloving reactions. He may deserve contempt, but that doesn’t win him any more than harshness and anger wins the heart of a woman.”
― Emerson Eggerichs, Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respect He Desperately Needs

Marriage is a wonderful gift given to us by God.  Husbands, love your wives.  Wives, respect your husbands.  It is simple, but not easy.  God's way always works.


Popular posts from this blog

Romans 8:18: For I Consider That The Sufferings Of This Present Time Are Not Worth Comparing

Romans 8:18 [18] For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. (ESV) Perspective. What an important word. Let's be honest. We do not like the idea of suffering. We will do almost anything to avoid any kind of suffering. Some churches have gone so far as to preach against the idea of suffering, declaring it to not be a part of the true believer's life. Paul is not shy about the topic. Paul uses the sufferings of this present time as a means to consider the greater glory that awaits us. Perspective. Paul is not in any way attempting to diminish our suffering. A view toward eternity puts our suffering in a proper understanding. Yes, our suffering is terrible. In the grand scheme of eternity it is not even worth comparison. Maybe you are thinking that Paul does not know what he is talking about when it comes to suffering. In 2 Corinthians 11 Paul describes countless beatings, often near death,

Romans 11:24: For If You Were Cut From What Is By Nature A Wild Olive Tree, And Grafted, Contrary To Nature, Into A Cultivated Olive Tree . . .

Romans 11:24 [24] For if you were cut from what is by nature a wild olive tree, and grafted, contrary to nature, into a cultivated olive tree, how much more will these, the natural branches, be grafted back into their own olive tree. (ESV) We continue looking at the illustration of an olive tree. The root of the tree is the covenant relationship relationship of God with Abraham. Abraham's faith is what this spiritual tree is built on. The first branches would have been the faithful people of Israel, who like Abraham, placed their faith in God. They believed God, just like Abraham, and it was credited to them as righteousness. There were branches of the people of Israel who never placed their faith in God. Because these branches were not true followers of God they were broken off of the tree. Faith in God was the essential element that made the branches true branches of this spiritual tree. Some branches remained. Others, the faithless unbelievers, were removed. After Jesu

Romans 15:20-21: And Thus I Make It My Ambition To Preach The Gospel, Not Where Christ Has Already Been Named

Romans 15:20–21 [20] and thus I make it my ambition to preach the gospel, not where Christ has already been named, lest I build on someone else's foundation, [21] but as it is written, “Those who have never been told of him will see, and those who have never heard will understand.” (ESV) We need to be reminded continually that the message of the Gospel is intended to move all across the world. Jesus said that his followers were to preach the Gospel, starting in Jerusalem, and continue preaching the Gospel to the whole world. Christians have not always been good at delivering the Gospel message as far and as often as they should. In the first century church it took intense persecution to motivate the disciples in Jerusalem to bring the Gospel to Judea and Samaria. Once the disciples fled to new regions they shared the Gospel wherever they went. Would the disciples have preached the Gospel without the persecution? We may never know. Some probably would have stayed in their co